That New Blog Smell
I decided to write today.
After writing what felt like a diary entry, I remembered I used to blog a lil sumthin'. When I signed onto my blog, I read the old posts and all I could think was, "What is this garbage?" I felt queasy as I looked back at my superficial attempts to write about my life.
Who was I ?
A girl in her 20's
An artist in her 20's
A lover in her 20's
A mother in her 20's
I realized that I was living my life in as much denial as my posts were. I wasn't living or loving to my full capacity. There was this overbearing feeling of vanity in my words, this need to be seen as something desirable regardless of the low levels of authenticity or depth. Straight frontin'. I even named the damn blog, Linelle's Vanity! Linelle is my middle name but what did I mean by "Vanity"?
Well,according to Merriam Webster by way of Google,
1 : inflated pride in oneself or one's appearance : conceit
2 : something that is vain, empty, or valueless
3 a : dressing table
b : a bathroom cabinet containing a sink and usually having a countertop
The blog was, ironically, named after my own empty writing and inflated pride.
Time for change... The name stays because just as it used to stand for the process of "dressing" my life with valueless conceit, it now stands for the undressing of superficial things: a stripping down of inflated pride. Bare. Real. The after-party, where you return to the dressing table to remove all that isn't permanent... a taking off of the masks we wear.
I hope that you'll join me in this journey to the peace of vulnerability.
After writing what felt like a diary entry, I remembered I used to blog a lil sumthin'. When I signed onto my blog, I read the old posts and all I could think was, "What is this garbage?" I felt queasy as I looked back at my superficial attempts to write about my life.
Who was I ?
A girl in her 20's
An artist in her 20's
A lover in her 20's
A mother in her 20's
I realized that I was living my life in as much denial as my posts were. I wasn't living or loving to my full capacity. There was this overbearing feeling of vanity in my words, this need to be seen as something desirable regardless of the low levels of authenticity or depth. Straight frontin'. I even named the damn blog, Linelle's Vanity! Linelle is my middle name but what did I mean by "Vanity"?
Well,according to Merriam Webster by way of Google,
1 : inflated pride in oneself or one's appearance : conceit
2 : something that is vain, empty, or valueless
3 a : dressing table
b : a bathroom cabinet containing a sink and usually having a countertop
The blog was, ironically, named after my own empty writing and inflated pride.
Time for change... The name stays because just as it used to stand for the process of "dressing" my life with valueless conceit, it now stands for the undressing of superficial things: a stripping down of inflated pride. Bare. Real. The after-party, where you return to the dressing table to remove all that isn't permanent... a taking off of the masks we wear.
I hope that you'll join me in this journey to the peace of vulnerability.
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